The Masks We Wear

Sometimes I get so sick of feeling like I can't be myself, I want to embrace life for all it has to offer. I don't know what makes me feel like I am, like I am less than. I have always felt the need to block other people out of my life. It was always to make sure I couldn't be hurt. Everyone has a mask they put on. They put this mask on to hide who they are. I don't think of these masks as being dishonest, I think they're just a part of life. I wear a mask everyday; sometimes it's a smile other times it's arrogance.

I feel empty, but it's not for what I didn't have, not because I was bullied, not because I hate my body, it can't be defined. I don't know why I'm sad, I just am. I have tell myself this is okay, even though I know there are sick people, hungry people, many people with far larger concerns than my simple cares. I have been working hard to not feel down about myself. I don't have any friends to express this to although I highly doubt that I would, even if I did have friends. There have been times when I was close to people who I considered to be a friend; many times I have come close to telling them my secrets, just to get them out in the open; to have someone to talk to about my concerns, but I've never told them.

I came across this poem that I like quite a bit.

The Mask

by Wolfgirl

A mask of plastic happiness often covers her sadness
Her beliefs hidden from most
Afraid of, but willing to face the unknown
Wondering where her place is in this life
She has come close to sharing herself
Never completely revealing anything to anyone
Feelings of invisible chains corner her
When she dreams, reality shatters before her very eyes
Accomplishments she strives for just at hands grasp
She feels lost sometimes, not yet finding her notch in this world
At times the glimmer in her calm eyes slowly disappears
But within her heart a silent flame burns her inside and out
She roams day by day, playing roles
Strength unknowingly resides in her
History repeats itself once again
The translucent veil she so proudly wears
Little by little answers will come, pushing it aside
One day there will be no more mask for her to wear
One day her beliefs will be known
One day she'll know her place in this life
One day she will share herself
ONE DAY this mask will be NO MORE