Lies and Gossip and Bitches Oh My!

Strangers lie, parents lie, best friends lie, you lie, people lie. Why do we lie? Each person is different, some lie about things because they are trying to protect someone or themselves, for some its uncontrollable, there are times when a lie is more simple or less hurtful than the truth, and there are some who lie for the enjoyment of the after effects of what shall come.

I remember a time when I would lie when I was playing hard to get by saying I'd call you back, and I'd call the next day saying I was busy and forgot. To me these were unnecessary, but still harmless. Does someone need to know what you are doing every second of the day, No. perhaps if I were in a relationship with the person it would be a different story, back then I wasn't, so that added to the fact why I really didn't care.

I would lie to myself. Constantly. I actually lied to myself more than I'd lie to other people. I tried to tell myself it was okay and I justify it with a reason that would actually work, if I weren't lying. I lied because it was easy, it was as easy as walking, something that came natural. Don't get me wrong, there are days when I slip back into my old ways and I lie again. Maybe I do it because I want to have a more extravagant life instead of my everyday regular life.

I try to be honest about my life with people I'm close to, but some how it always seems to back fire and I hear things later. People think that since I'm a quiet person, I have all these big secrets, when in face it's the opposite. I think I'm quiet and shy because first off I do care what other people think about me. I understand that its not healthy because everyone won't like me, and I don't care about everyone's opinion of me, but I still have ears. Another thing is I think I am a very interesting person, but I don't know how much anyone else thinks I am. I have heard people say that their first impression of me was that I was a bitch, and I asked why and was told because I was such a goody two shoes. I didn't think that could make someone a bitch, but hey, those are people's opinions and I can't change their thoughts.

I try to live my life right so that I can make it in heaven, I may not go to church every Sunday...well any Sunday if that matters. I try to respect my mother as much as I can even though we argue on a daily basis. I think that I missed out on a lot of high school and university experiences, by staying home and being to myself. I am still working out all the kinks, but some knots are really stuck in there. I try to be the best person I can, but sometimes I wonder if I'm missing out on life lessons and experiences.