Self Worth and its Value

This my be the best thing I've seen in a while. We sometime don't see ourselves for the true beaut which we are. We are our own audience, how we believe ourselves to be is what others take us as. I may not always remember this, but deep down I don't forget.

I think the issue that comes to hand, well for me personally, that is self worth. I know what I think of myself and what I think I deserve. I don't give myself the best rating. This may come from years of self loathing or it may just be a honest view of myself.

      I think Charlie said it best we accept the love we think we deserve.

If we cannot love ourselves how can we expect or even ask someone else to do it for us. Now, while there may be those special people in life who were lucky enough to come across someone who saw something within them when they couldn't even see it themselves. The love they can get from that other person whether it be sexual or friendly can possibly be just the thing they need to learn to love themselves.

I feel that I cannot love another person until I can love myself. It's not that I hate myself, I just find so many things wrong with me that I think, oh what will they think when they find out about this or worse what will they say when they see this? I have many dreams of what I wish my life could be and I am constantly working on making improvements in my life and actually starting to find things I admire about me. I do think at some point I will learn to love myself for what and who I am, but today just isn't the day I can allow anyone to love me more than I love myself.

I've noticed that my opinions of how I see myself gives mixed reviews of how others see me. Since I have hair issues I try to keep it perfect, this has been since 7th grade, making sure it's straight and there are no strands poking out anywhere. It looked like a wig in high school because it was so perfect. I tend to overcompensate for many things, this leads people to think I am stuck up. When in fact I just like to keep to myself and make the choices I think are best for my life. I tend to avoid eye contact if it's not needed. I can do it, but to be on the safe side I try not to look at people because it feels like I can see them starring at every flaw I have on my body. It's like I can feel their judgement burning a hole into my soul. For this very reason I love to we're sunglasses; by wearing them I can look wherever I want without the worry they see me looking. When I wear sunglasses it gives me a sense of power, like, I have a new persona. This new persona, my Sasha Fierce, if you will, it shows and people who see me notice it.

I like to think that while I may think I suck, others don't even notice and they may think I'm the world.